A modest proposal for solving abortion dilemma
Thursday, May 23, 2019
I have figured out — or possibly God revealed to me — a perfect solution, the final solution, to our abortion dilemma. I expect that this will make everybody happy, whatever their current views are.
Let's agree with some that a group of cells becomes a baby when a doctor detects a heartbeat. We should not terminate that baby's life. In fact, we should do everything medically possible to ensure the well being of that baby. We can start by moving the baby from an environment in which he is not wanted to an environment where he is profoundly wanted and valued. The woman will be happy to have had "a growth" removed.
Place the baby with carefully selected, humane, well-to-do, abortion opponents. They will be overjoyed to have a baby, whom they can train to oppose abortion; a baby they can "Ooh and Ahh," over, and baby-talk to for hours; a baby they can decorate with ribbons and bows, entertain with a mobile, and thrill the grandparents with.
Jonathan Swift ironically proposed eating babies as food as a way of getting the Brits to treat the Irish more humanely. I am not being ironic. Examine this carefully and let me know if you think you find a flaw in it. Then I can explain where you went astray.