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Common sense policy ideas sure to win voters

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By Peter Thomson
Columnist

Sunday, March 24, 2019

This year we’re being treated to the spectacle of the Democratic presidential candidates piling into the race like a winning team at the last whistle.

First it was about as many as a basketball team, then baseball, and now it’s as though members of a winning football team are piling on each other. With numbers like this, each candidate has the problem of delivering a platform with a series of promises of what they’ll do that differentiates him or her from the rest. Some are promising universal healthcare, others offer solutions to global warming, still others peace in the Middle East, or balanced budgets or fair government; always knowing that in that year and a half till the election, everything’s going to change.

But is it working? Are they hitting the mark? Fact is, these great and grand ideas may not resonate with the average voter, and some may totally miss the mark. So in the interest of helping an alert candidate of either party change his or her platform and become a shoo-in for the presidency, here is a list of common sense priorities of that, if adopted, is sure to win the election.

1) Tax corporations that spam a quarter of one cent for every unwanted email sent. The first amendment really didn’t consider the computer age or the kind of system that would let folks intrude on your privacy like they do. Give some of the new revenues to the U.S. Postal System to lower stamp costs and balance the national budget with the rest.

2) Legislate the airlines to offer comfortable seats. This has been a downhill slide for some time, so much so that in economy class you pay extra for “Comfort Seating.” This is surely an admission that the other economy seating is really “Uncomfortable Seating”, or at the very least “Less than Comfortable Seating”, and our airlines make sure it lives up to this name. At a time when folks’ posteriors are widening, aircraft seating is narrowing. Promise to stop it and folks will flock to your campaign.

3) Legislate that all robo calls have a common prefix. Perhaps it could be a 666 series as some consider that an unlucky number. Present day the electorate is faced with a Do-Not-Call act that doesn’t work and calling groups that can put your own prefix on calls. Stop them and you’ll become a winner. Tax ‘em like spam and we’d have a surplus!

4) Make it part of your platform for people to get a permanent, indestructible social security card, perhaps with a holograph in it for security. Nowadays voters are forced to carry a ragged bit of paper around because on the back it says not to plastic-bind it. It’s just a nasty little nit that the government forces on people. Changing this will gain votes and show you understand that small things count.

5) And finally, the initiative that will permanently separate you from the rest of the politicos: when your fellow aspirants send out begging letters to the public and get no reply, they just keep sending letters. Put a limit on the number of communications they can send. It seems pretty obvious after three tries if they didn’t get any money they should stop sending letters, emails, robo calls and all. So become that beloved legislator that makes them stop. Right after the election of course.

Peter Thomson is a resident of Elizabeth City.

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