Home > Swampland > Archives > 2008 > April > 30 > Entry
My secret revealed
OK, maybe it’s not the best secret, but I quite smoking. I’m on day 5 and I have wanted to confess this openly because if I fall off the wagon and light up, well, what would you think then? Thing is, I’ve read one should tell people because then one is less likely to continue smoking if one starts up again. Humiliation goes a long way. I really do have a desire to be a non-smoker so I decided that, yes, today I’m a non-smoker. I am doing it cold turkey because I would much rather purge my system than add something else like more nicotine. I’m a little fuzzy headed and at times I feel as though I’m going to go insane, yet I also feel a sense of freedom. Cigarettes and nicotine are a sort of bondage and this is long over due. I’m not looking for congratulations here, by the way. Frankly, I would rather not hear any of that and that’s partly why I haven’t wanted to openly confess this. Rather, I would like to address the question I’ve often pondered, why did I start in the first place? The short answer is still, I really don’t know for certain. I can tell you that when I was 15, standing in the high school parking lot — we were allowed to smoke at school back then — Steve Thomas pulled out a pack of smokes, I bummed one and that was that. He warned me not to do it, but I didn’t listen. Now, more than 20 years later I’m writing about quitting. It’s about time, I suppose. Today I am not smoking. Tomorrow? Well, I’ll let you know then.
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