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The Nicotine Diaries: Part 3, Stress Relief?
Smokers will tell you things like: “Hell, I need a cigarette.” The key word is need. This statement is usually preceeded by a stressful moment and somehow the notion that a cigarette can relieve stress has crept into the mind of the smoker.
When I first began smoking, as a teen, I can’t say that I understood stress they way I do now, as an adult. I can’t say that I recall actually feeling the need for a cigarette because life was beating me down or I had a particularly cruel day. No, in fact as a teenager all I was really doing by smoking was absentmindedly developing a habit that would turn into an addiction.
As an adult, and very recently, I have found myself on numerous occasions feeling out of sorts and stressed and running to have a cigarette, relishing the rush of calming nicotine that ran through my body, from head to toe, sending me into a few moments of euphoria before it wore off and I was convinced that I could join the world anew, stress free and without reservations. As I determined I would not smoke, I found myself fearful that the general anxiety that seemed to overcome me would overwhelm me and I wouldn’t have my crutch to lean on, smoking that cigarette to relive my angst.
It was a myth, I am convinced now. The funny thing about smoking and not smoking is that I am certain that I have been less stressed about things since not smoking than I was when I was smoking. I haven’t had those moments when I thought I would lose my mind so I’d best have a smoke. Why? Well, I suspect that the real sensation I was feeling was my body’s need to be fed nicotine and tar and once it received its dose, the body just thanked me by calming down and taking a sort of sigh of relief.
Now, I still get stressed and there are times that I think about smoking, but my desire to not smoke is currently greater than my desire to smoke. And those moments that are stressful, well, they’re just not so stressful that I have to go pay $4 for a pack of smokes and a whole lot of regret. I suppose you could say that I don’t have to smoke no matter what today.
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