'Bride' doesn't marry Bollywood musical with American tastes

The barbed romances of Jane Austen and the vibrant musicals of India may be two great tastes that taste great together (they've been combined before), but the flavors don't blend when they're as watered down as "Bride & Prejudice," the latest stab at feel-good multiculturalism by Gurinder Chadha ("Bend it Like Beckham").

Miramax Films 'Bride and Prejudice' 1 out of 4 stars Director: Gurinder Chadha Starring: Aishwarya Rai, Martin Henderson, Daniel Gillies Run time: 120 minutes Release date: Feb. 25, 2005 Rating: PG-13 for some sexual references See showtimes On the web Official movie site View the trailer   -- Trailers require Quicktime Rate "Bride & Prejudice":   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results

The movie embodies most of the things that scare Americans away from Bollywood epics, but contains precious little of the exuberant essence that makes the best of them so delightful. (The only place it comes out ahead is in running time; "Bride" is too long, but doesn't come close to the three-hours-plus of a typical Bollywood hit.) The storytelling is rudimentary; the acting is worse. The movie indulges in shameless stereotyping when it wants to, then delivers agonizing lectures about tolerance of cultural differences. The best songs are weak, the worst grating.

In her attempt to make the genre more friendly to English speakers, Chadha hasn't done the obvious -- cast actors with chemistry and give them good dialogue -- but has chopped down its one great strength: The musical numbers here are pint-sized compared to the extravagant production numbers one expects. That may not be so bad, considering that what's here suggests the director has little talent for staging such sequences.

Meanwhile, one of India's most popular stars (Aishwarya Rai) struggles to resist the charms of Martin Henderson, the charmless actor who will in the end make her life complete by marrying her. Fans of Jane Austen may remember there being something more to the story, but aren't advised to look for it here.