My wife recently purchased four little light bulbs that cost a total of $8. The thing is, they were not the allegedly environmentally harmful 100-watt kind, but the permissible low-watt kind. They were, in fact, 15- and 25-watt bulbs. You know, the kind that are great for disguising the ravages of time and a dirty house, but not so much for reading the newspaper. It didn’t matter. They were $2 a pop for a single bulb. Upon her return, we compared notes on how shocked we were at this outrageous gouging, and — long story short — returned the offending bulbs to the offensive store. We are still in search of reasonably priced light bulbs and have resorted to a game of musical bulb-snatching that will eventually result — if played to its logical conclusion — in our relying on a solitary remaining bulb for illumination. And then — darkness.

Bear in mind that what I’m talking about is the old (supposedly) cheap kind, not the new exorbitantly priced kind. From what I can determine, retailers are pressuring us to stop using the old bulbs by maintaining an artificially high price for them, thereby forcing us to purchase the new ones.

OK, here’s where I, a lifelong liberal, get off the bus. I want my old bulbs and I want the government to butt out of this area of my life. Thanks to the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007, we are being forced to rid ourselves of the standard incandescent bulbs that we have been using since Thomas Edison invented them, and are simultaneously being forced to purchase their supposed replacements, which are fluorescent.

No! I won’t do it if I have to resort to candlelight, because I despise florescent light and always have.

Answer me this, my many conservative friends. Why was there no hue and cry when George W. Bush backed this legislation and signed it into law? If, say, Barack Obama had signed this bill there would have been marching in the streets and cries of “socialist” all across the conservative strata.

It’s not like I don’t understand the issues involved. There is a great need for new light bulb technology because incandescents are energy inefficient. Got it. But banning the old bulbs before anyone comes up with a responsible alternative is a less than intelligent response to the problem. What the government has come up with is a plan to banish all incandescents over 40 watts by 2014. By 2020, they’ll all be gone.

The main alternative, so far, is compact fluorescent bulbs, or CFLs. These are great, except for the fact that they flicker uncontrollably and habitually take minutes to come on; cast harsh, migraine-inducing light; often whine unbearably; and do not operate with dimmers, which I happen to have all over my house. They also cost many times the price of incandescents.

Oh, and they’re dangerous, to boot. If you break one, the Environmental Protection Agency recommends treating the surrounding area as a hazardous waste site, as a cloud of highly toxic mercury vapor will coat everything and everyone in the vicinity. I’m quite serious. It recommends evacuating the area and hiring professionals in hazmat suits to effect cleanup. Really.

It’s not like I am some sort of Luddite who wants to keep the old bulbs just because we’ve always had them. Whenever someone comes up with a genuine alternative I’ll be all over it like ugly on a frog. The trouble is that no one has to this point. LED technology is promising, but in the early stages of development — and expensive. At present, LED bulbs are more than 20 times the price of an incandescent. I’ll make a deal with the government — and the manufacturers. When LEDs are up and running, give me a call. Until then, leave my old bulbs alone.

I care deeply about my carbon footprint. I have never driven anything larger than a compact car. I keep my thermostat, in winter, at 62 degrees. If you come to visit, bring a sweater. In summer, I keep my thermostat reasonably high, change filters often and keep my windows open as often as is bearable. I have a dryer, but air-dry almost everything. I believe that climate change is irrefutable fact and want to help. Really, I do.

But this light bulb madness is governmental hubris at best and a gross overreaction at worst.

The government clearly has the power to do this thing. That, however, does not mean it has the right.

Bud Wright is a resident of Elizabeth City