Q: Last summer something horrible happened: I killed my own cat. I was backing out of the driveway and didn't see her sunning herself on the concrete behind my car. Sophia died in my arms after I heard her scream of pain, and I have never cried so hard or felt so guilty in my life. I have had a very hard time dealing with this since, as you may imagine.

I haven't been able to get another cat, but I so miss having one that I am almost ready to start looking.

I'm afraid that I'll get turned down by the shelter if I admit what happened. What should I do? -- T.D., via e-mail

A: You don't have to lie. If the shelter or rescue group asks what happened to your last cat, you can honestly say she was killed by a car and keep the painful details to yourself. Accidents can happen to the pets of even the most caring people, and I can't imagine you won't be able to find a group who will trust you with one of their pets, based on your love of cats.

Something that you should consider, though, to put you definitely in the category of a responsible pet lover: Make the decision for your next cat to be kept safe at home -- no more roaming free.

You are not the first person to have run over your own cat -- I know of at least one other person in my extended circle of acquaintances and at least a half-dozen readers in the last few years. And your own car certainly isn't the only risk out there to a cat allowed to roam at will.

Cats live longer, healthier lives inside, but can they also find happiness? Yes! Make sure your pet has a good cat tree, lots of toys and plenty of your attention. A screened-in porch or other safe access to fresh air is recommended, but many cats do fine without them. If you do have a yard, do an Internet search for "cat-fencing" for ready-made products or do-it-yourself plans that will help you set up your yard in a way to keep your cat safely inside it.

You did not mean to hurt your cat, and I hope you can find a way to come to terms with what happened. Don't hesitate to talk to a pet-loss bereavement counselor, even so many months later. Many veterinary schools and colleges offer this service for free, staffed by veterinary students who understand how important pets are to us and how difficult their loss can be.

Do you have a pet question? Send it to petconnection@gmail.com.